Confessions

Day 115: Psalm 50-55

Psalm 51 is an amazing psalm about repentance and the deep need for God's mercy and forgiveness. Although the story about David having an affair with Bathsheba and then killing her husband Uriah the Hittite to cover it up is quite familiar, his words here in Psalm 51 are not. In this psalm, David confesses his sin to God and pleads for God's forgiveness.

David's state of mind here--his stance towards God--is one that I have felt during my lifetime. I have sinned. I am a sinner, in constant need of God's grace, just like David is here. David asks God to take away his guilt, make him pure, and give him back his joy. I, too, have been in this same place. In anguish over a sin I have committed. Trying desperately to connect with God. Begging for forgiveness. Repenting in my heart and having every intention to change and then doing it again and again and again.

Only after I committed sins that I said I'd never do--you know, those sins that we judge others for and think are worse than others--well, only after committing sins like that did I really know what it was like to feel the wonderful, miraculous grace of Jesus Christ. To be filled with a new spirit and a renewed sense of faith, hope, and calling. God is good, and through our sins, he brings us to a place where we can see his grace--his wonderful, beautiful nature of salvation--at work.

David utters the following words in this chapter, and I leave you with them here:

"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a Royal spirit within me." 

May God change our hearts and renew our spirits, just like he did with David.

My Ponderings for Today

Day 114: Psalm 44-49

Today I'm thinking that my strategy for reading the Bible straight through has some problems. Up until now, it's worked out pretty well, but now that I'm in the psalms and reading so much of the same thing every day, I can see it is a bit more difficult than reading other books straight through. Some plans have it so that you read some of the psalms each day, which makes it so that the psalms are broken up.

What I do like about reading the Bible this way is that I have already read most of the narrative that comes before the psalms, and now when I'm reading the prayers of David or Moses, for instance, I understand more about the context for the psalm. I also like this method because it allows me to look at the Book of Psalms as an entire entity and study it as such rather than having it all broken up.

Still, this method is a bit problematic for me because the entire book is quite lengthy (I'm not even halfway through it), and I already find myself dreading (that seems really strong, but I can't think of another word) the next several weeks of reading Psalms.

Here are a few verses I liked today:

Psalm 44: 23-26--"Awake, O Lord! Why do you sleep? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever. Why do you hide your face and forget our misery and oppression? We are brought down to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground. Rise up and help us; redeem us because of your unfailing love."
Psalm 46:1-2a--"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear..."
Psalm 46:10a--"Be still, and know that I am God..."
Psalm 48:9--"Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love."
Psalm 48:10--"Like your name, O God, your praise reaches to the ends of the earth; your right hand is filled with righteousness."
Psalm 49:15--"But God will redeem my life [f] from the grave; he will surely take me to himself."
Psalm 49:20--"Human beings who have wealth but lack understanding are like the beasts that perish."

How Beautiful

Day 113: Psalm 40-43

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O Lord. Psalm 42:1.

What beautiful language is expressed here. What a remarkable comparison.

Continuing On

Day 112: Psalm 36-39

Today is one of those days where I find blogging hard. I'm tired, and there is so much to be done. I've also read these chapters and can't find anything new, nothing I've not already said here. I guess I could repeat things I've already posted (repetition is good, I believe), but I really don't want to write something I've already written, especially about the psalms. So for tonight, suffice it to say that I've read these chapters, and I'm still continuing this journey. Have a good night.

Thoughts on Psalms

Day 111: Psalm 31 to 35

Psalm 32 is an interesting psalm in the sense that it deals with the Lord forgiving sins. If I'm remembering correctly, so far in my reading of the Old Testament, I don't remember reading anything so far about God and forgiveness. However, this psalm deals specifically with the idea of confession and forgiveness. The writer confessing his sins to the Lord, and the Lord forgiving them.
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Reading the psalms teaches me about the ways of the Lord and the relationship he establishes with his people. I kind of wish the psalms were intermittent throughout the Bible so that we could have narrative and poetry intermixed.
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Psalm 34:18: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." This scripture suggests that God is near those who suffer. He is close to the hurting, offering them comfort and hope.

David's Words to the Lord

Day 110: Psalm 26-30

Once again I'm struck by how well David knows the Lord. He has an understanding of him that comes through in the words he says--the praise and lament he offers to God. I've always wondered why David was a man after God's heart, especially when he was so violent, literally killing thousands of people, and when he killed Uriah the Hittite so that he could take Bathsheba as his wife (after he had an affair with her and got her pregnant). But here in Psalms, I can understand more about the relationship between God and David. It's really special, and I appreciate David by reading his words. At one point in my life, I kept a diary of prayers to God. Maybe I'll start that up again. Writing sure does make things clearer.

Bitter or Better?

Day 109: Psalm 22-25

Psalm 22 begins, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" These words, spoken here by David, were also uttered by Jesus on the cross. When Jesus repeated the words of David, he was drawing on his ancestors; he was connecting to people who had felt the same way. But he was also showing that he, too, was suffering. At this particular moment on the cross, he felt that God had left him. That God had forsaken him. This is the worst thing that could happen to Jesus, being left by God. It was also the worst thing that could happen to David, feeling like God has abandoned him. It's the worst thing to happen to us, too. Feeling alone. Abandoned. Neglected. And not just by anyone--by God.

I read a book yesterday about creativity and suffering. The book, Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell, is about the pain we experience and how we can use creativity--which God invented--to imagine a life for ourselves and world in which we live that where suffering is looked at in a positive way--while we're in the midst of it. I encourage each of you to read this book (it's a quick read and written with a postmodern flair, combining images and text in uniquely creative ways).

David would not have been the same person had he not experienced the pain and suffering he went through. Maybe Jesus wouldn't have been either. Not only can he identify with humans in ways that he couldn't before, but he can use this perspective to plead to God about it as well.

Like David and Jesus, we, too, are changed through suffering. The choice we have, according to Bell, is whether we will become "better" or "bitter." How will we use our experiences? How will we be shaped and formed through them? Hopefully, we will become more alive, more able to experience and feel the goodness of God in our lives. Through our pain, we learn. We live.  We empathize with others. We become better not bitter.

We have all felt forsaken by God (I assume, but maybe not). Whether it's because bad things have happened to us or because of our sins, we may have felt distance between us and God, especially at times when we need Him most. It's not a good feeling to be abandoned by God, but both David and Jesus felt this at one point in their lives. They spoke how they felt to God. And so can we. Suffering bonds us together with others. And it also bonds us to Jesus.

The chapter after David utters his words to the Lord comes Psalm 23, the famous psalm where David declares, "The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing." and ends with "Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of our life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

In your suffering, may we all become better, not bitter.

A Remembered Passage

Day 108: Psalm 19-21

Today is Christmas Eve. It's such an exciting time of the year. Many people are off of work and are able to take some time to rest, celebrate, eat good food, and spend time with family. I hope you are having a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season.

I read Psalm 19 for today. In the 6th grade, I had to memorize this entire chapter. I didn't think I could do it, but day after day we recited it together as a class, and soon we were all reciting the 14 verses in this chapter. I have often come back to this chapter. It's such a beautifully written chapter with beautiful imagery and a wonderful view of God:

Just listen to some of these verses:
"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands."

"In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course."

"The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple"

"The precepts of the LORD are right,
 giving joy to the heart."

"The fear of the LORD is pure,
       enduring forever."

Thank you, Mrs. Glover, for teaching us this verse. It's such a unique one to learn, but it paints a beautiful image of God and the heavens.

Knowing God

Day 107: Psalm 16-18

Psalm 18 is about when God delivered David from all his enemies, including Saul. Two things strike me about this chapter.

1. David tells God "thank you." Saying thank you seems simple enough, but so often we are quick to judge and accuse God when things don't work out, and we neglect to tell God thanks when he is at work in our lives. But saying thank you requires noticing and then acknowledging that God had a role. That seems simple enough, but if we don't notice God's hands at work in our lives, then how can we do it?

2. David knows God. This psalm is very, very lengthy and is filled with praises to God, praises that are, once again, specific and exact. David's words show that he knows God--that he knows what he can do and who he is. I compare David's song here praising God, which could also be considered a prayer (songs are prayers, right?), to some of the prayers we say in church, and I notice a distinct difference: David is confident in his understanding of God in ways that we are not. His confidence allows him to speak to God about God's ways--praising his ways, giving him thanks, and admiring him for all of his ways--and to be confident that he knows God and that he does not speak falsely about God in his praise of God.

Why are we often not so confident in expressing praise about what God has done in our world--both at a local level and a global one? Maybe it's because we don't notice God at work when he's at work. Maybe we don't pray like David does because we don't want to speak ill about God, or to be so arrogant as to assume we know all about God and who he is. Or maybe it's something else. Regardless of the reason, I admire David's confidence, his ability to sing praises to God and speak about God in ways that show he knows God and thanks God for what he has done.

Maybe we can get to know God better by reading these psalms and putting ourselves in the position of the writer.

The Word Hate, and God?

Day 106: Psalm 11-15

I like the part of Psalm 11 where the writer states, "The LORD is in his holy temple; the LORD is on his heavenly throne"(v. 4), but then I'm disturbed by the part where it says the Lord "hates with a passion" the wicked. The Lord hates? We aren't supposed to hate, are we? At least that's what we're taught. So it's a bit surprising to me that the Lord hates. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that the Lord hates the wicked; He is all about "good" and evil has no place in his presence. But it just shocks me because we are all evil; we are all wicked. Does God hate all of us? Or what else could it be? Could it be that this expression--this use of language--is only one person's interpretation of the Lord? Or could it be that this is true and that when Jesus came, he changed all this? I don't know. I'm sure I could ask someone or google this question, and I could get the "right" answer, or even one that explains it a little bit, but I guess I just want to say that I was a little shocked. Maybe I'll learn more about this idea as I pursue my reading.
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Psalm 13 is a psalm of David, and his prayer here reminds me of Job's questioning of God. They both question the circumstances of their life. I like how David ends this prayer:

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
       my heart rejoices in your salvation.
    ⁶ I will sing the LORD's praise,
       for he has been good to me.

David trusts the Lord and even though he doesn't understand everything that is happening to him, he trusts the Lord and will praise the Lord in the midst of hard times.

Psalmists Defining; Us Understanding

Day 105: Psalm 6-10

In college, one of the activities we did in Freshman Bible was to list all the different names for God. We found Deliverer, and Righteous One, Healer and King of Kings. There were many others, but I liked this activity because it gave me many different ways to think about God. Instead of "God" being nebulous and hard to grasp, I could think of him as the Forgiver, the Prince of Peace, a Refuge, the Lord of Lords.

I like the psalms because of how these writers characterize and define God. They create metaphors for God that help us understand his nature. They use words to define God and to give us glimpses into his character. And yet they manage not to limit him or to set limitations on him. Instead, they show how these traits are merely one aspect of God, one side of him, a partial view. The psalmists show us new ways of seeing God, which can help us in our own journey to seek, understand, and know God. The psalmists are giving us words to start.

I Made It to Psalms!

Day 104: Psalm 1-5

Today I started reading the psalms. I've always liked the psalms, although I don't read them too often, but I like how past followers of the Lord put words to their expressions about God. They praise God. They offer lament to God. They ask why, and they ask for help. Many of these psalms are prayers to God, and others are songs to him. The difference between the two is minor. But the psalms are different than most of the rest of the Bible because they are poetry rather than prose, songs rather than narratives. They utilize a different form of expression, a different way of communicating with God. Reading the psalms can enhance our own prayer lives by showing us how others pray and talk to God.

The words that touched me tonight are:

1. "Blessed are those who do not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but who delight in the law of the LORD and meditate on his law day and night" (1:1-2). 

2. "But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, the one who lifts my head high" (3:3). In the midst of fleeing from his son Absalom, David utters these words to God. David feels God's protection and knows that He gives him strength. This psalm was also made into a beautiful song that I really like.

3. "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety" (4:8).

4. "Lead me, LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies— make your way straight before me" (5:8).

5.  "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy" (5:11).

God Speaks...and He Doesn't Say What I Think He's Going to Say

Day 103: Job 38-42

"Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm..."

This is how chapter 38 opens. Job is in his "storm." He is in the depths of despair. He is at his worst moment. And God comes to Job at his worst moment. Interesting.

The rest of what God says really surprises me; it wasn't what I was expecting. I was expecting some compassion; some understanding; some empathy. But that's not what God begins with. He basically tells Job that is his bigger than Job. He is the creator of the world and the sustainer of humankind and no human can do all that God does, not even Job. And God is sure to point to Job that He is God and Job is not.

Wow. Is that how God would respond to me? Although we honor and fear God today, we still feel a sense of entitlement in how we talk to God. We are honest with him. We ask him why he's making us go through negative times. We blame him for unhappy or hard times we may experience. We basically do what Job does. And now we should listen to what God says to Job. We are not God. God is God, and we should be mindful of this point. Go read these passages and be reminded about who God is. I wonder if you will be as humbled (and surprised) as I am. 

In spite of how the Lord responds to Job, He admonishes Job's friends for not speaking rightly of Him. He then tells them that Job is the one who has spoken correctly about him.

The Lord then gave Job half as much as he had before, and Job was comforted by his friends and family. The Lord then blessed the latter half of Job's life more than the first half, and Job died a full life.

That's What Friends Are For

Day 102: Job 32-37

I like Elihu. Now here's a man who tells it like it is, admonishing Job's friends for being so hard on Job and for not once proving him wrong or finding holes in his arguments. He is honest, forthcoming, and wise. He is a young man who uses the rhetorical appeals of ethos, pathos, and logos in his speech to Job and his friends. He establishes himself as a righteous man of God, which makes him credible with his listeners, and he tells Job to listen because he will impart wisdom to him.

Elihu basically pleads God case for God. He tells Job that God does not despise him. Ultimately, he ends his speech by saying, "The Almighty is beyond our reach and exalted in power; in his justice and great righteousness, he does not oppress. Therefore, people revere him, for does he not have regard for all the wise in heart?"

Job's Days Gone By

Day 101: Job 28-31

I am a nostalgic person. I like to reflect on times gone by, especially the good ones, and on times when I was the most happy. I often bring up the past to my husband and my family and we all laugh about these old times. Here in the book of Job, Job tells his friends that he wishes he could go back to the days when God was happy with him, "when God's intimate friendship blessed [his] life" and when God and his children were still with him. This nostalgia--this depth of grief and lament--is one I've never felt before. Job sure is one to admire.

Job's Commitment

Day 100: Job 25-28

Today is Day 100. Wow. Over one-fourth of my way through this project of reading through the Bible and contemplating the words through writing in one year. 100 days marks a momentous period for me, and I'm excited to be here at this day. I hope you have enjoyed the journey with me. Thanks for reading!

Once again, even though Job is bitter, is pained, and feels like justice has been denied him, he promises that he will never say anything wicked about the Lord. He will also never deny his innocence--he will stand by what he has said as long as he lives.

Pondering Job's Friends

Day 99: Job 20-24

Job's friends are brutal to Job. I would say they are "brutally honest," but the word honesty doesn't quite work because their seeing him as wicked and sinful is merely their perspective, one that is limited and doesn't quite understand the big picture. These friends think they know Job--that he didn't give to the poor, that he hoarded his wealth and was sinful. They speak to him as if they know Job--and as if they know God--but their limited perspective of Job--and of God--is evident in the things they say and in Job's reactions to their comments. And yet, they care about Job so they feel as if they must say something to him, that they must encourage him to restore his faith and seek the Lord. It's their duty to be his friend and to guide Job. Even if they misunderstand, they still feel they must speak when they see so much as being at stake. What's even more interesting is that Job does not turn away from God. He remains close by his side, even when he has lost so much.

Constructive Arguing?

Day 98: Job 15-19

I love how Job and his friends speak to each other. What honesty they have towards one another! And even though they disagree, they still love and respect one another. Yet, they still tell it like it is. What a concept! These conversations are true dialogue. Plato and Aristotle would be proud of the way these friends engage the subject matter and dialogue about it. They are engaged in dialectic with one another.

I'm teaching Argumentative and Persuasive Writing next semester (and am very excited about it), and with all that I've been reading about argument, I find the arguments of these people to be thoughtful, engaging, and honest. And what's more is that their dialogue is not empty of emotion. That is, when we get involved in disagreements with people, our emotions often become the center, so much so that we can't even engage in the logical discussion that might truly help us come to some resolution. But these people, they get emotional, yes, but they still remain focused on the question. I like the way they argue.

Maybe when we get involved in debates or disagreements, whether it be with our spouse, our best friend, our children, or acquaintances, we can look towards the conversations between Job and his friends and be reminded that the purpose isn't to "win," but to dialogue with each other so that all sides grow and learn something. That's what I hope to teach my students.

Prayers that Demand Justification

Day 97: Job 11-14

The next friend to speak to Job is Zophar. Zophar basically tells job to stop sinning and repent to God for God is merciful and will forgive him. He encourages Job to stop saying that he's innocent and just confess his sins to the Lord. But Job argues his innocence. I really appreciate Job. He talks to God as God, but he also approaches him with questions, asking God to justify his actions and make known to Job what is going on. Job's prayer/conversation with God shows us that there are many different ways we can talk to God, even when we ask him to explain himself. And God can take it.

Imagining a Different Reality

Day 96: Job 8-10

This time Job's friend Bildad talks with Job, asking him what sin his children committed to deserve this. He doesn't understand Job's reactions. Job's response is somewhat puzzling to me as well, but from what I understand it appears that Job ultimately asks God why, if he was going to let all this happen to him, did he even let him be born in the first place. Why did he let him be born if he was just going to destroy everything for him? That's a pondersome question.

Even though I don't understand all of what Job says--he seems to be saying one thing and then switches tracks and goes on to something else--I do know that Job's faith appears more complex and deep than his friends. He is able to imagine a God--a world even--in which things like this don't happen. And since he can imagine a world like this, it is even more painful when life takes these turns, when God allows bad things to happen. Ultimately, Job recognizes that God has the power to take away, but he wonders why he chooses to do so.

I am really enjoying the book of Job. I can identify with Job and his expressions to God, but Job's thoughtful words really give me something to ponder.

Feeling Grief Deep Down in the Soul

Day 95: Job 3-7

Three of Job's friends heard about his misery and come to visit him. They comfort him and join him in his suffering. They don't speak for 7 days, weeped together, and mourned together. When Job finally does speak, he doesn't curse God, like one might expect him to do. Instead, he curses the day of his birth. He lives in the moment of pain, feeling it deeply and reflecting on how he wishes he hadn't been born.

One of Job's friends, Eliphaz, tells Job that he should appeal to God. He then tells Job all the good things that God has done. Job responds by saying that he will appeal to God, not for what Eliphaz wants him to ask for but to plead to God to let him die. And, while his friends seem to want him to get over it and to stop mourning, Job tells them that he will not keep silent--that he will feel his pain, express his anguish, and complain in the bitterness of his soul.

Oftentimes when someone dies or suffers some painful loss, well-meaning people say the wrong thing. One time, for instance, when someone's 22-year-old son died suddenly, I heard a woman say to the mom, "It's all right. He's in a better place." Things like this, while well-intentioned, do not comfort the mom who has lost her son, or the son who has lost his mother, or the woman who cannot feed her family. Job is right to tell his friends that he will "not just get over it" but instead he will live in this time of pain. He will grieve over what he has lost, and he will even lament over being born. However, he will not curse God. In his grief, he will not sin. We need to let people grieve. We need to provide comfort to people that goes beyond, "At least he's in heaven." While that may be true, it doesn't help the grief and pain we feel now. Job recognizes this, and he lovingly teaches his friends this, too.

The Lord Takes Away

Day 94: Job 1-2

Job is an amazing man. He was blameless and upright, God-fearing and pure. In the book of Job, Satan roams the earth looking for someone who will basically curse God and turn away from their faith. So, God offers up Job. He tells Satan that there is no one as righteous as Job and that Satan can do whatever he wants to Job. Wow.

Very soon after that, Job loses everything. He loses his cattle and sheep, his oxen and donkeys, his servants and even his own sons and daughters. When he hears the news about all that he has lost, what does he do?

Before I get to what Job actually did, let's consider this question. What might you do if you have lost everything? It's hard to fathom losing everything; I can't even fully grasp what that means. It's too much to bear.

However, we can consider the notion of loss. We have all lost things. We have lost loved ones, and in this economic downturn, many of us have lost jobs. Others have lost children or had miscarriages. Others have mourned failed relationships, friendships, and marriages. We have all suffered from lost.

To make it a bit more personal, I will speak about something I have lost recently. Most of you know by now that Shane and I lost our dreams of planting a church. After three years of dreaming and then realizing our dream, we had to give it up. We are still grieving over all that we lost. Sure, we have moved on. We have a new church family who loves us and our children and is so glad we are there (as are we), but we are also still grieving over the church plant and other things surrounding that time in our lives.

*We are grieving that we had to move from a city that we love and had hoped to live in for years to come.
*We are grieving that our children will not go to the brand new elementary school in our neighborhood, the school equipped with high-tech classrooms and exceptional academic ratings.
*We are grieving that I will have to commute again. Long days and long hours away from family.
*We are anguished over leaving the friends we have made here and the spiritual relationships we have developed with people in our neighborhood and at various churches around town.
*We are saddened about leaving a home that we love. Familiarity. Comfort.

We are still sorrowful about a lot of different things. This past year has been very difficult for us, and we are still learning to deal with the loss we have experienced at many different levels of our life--emotionally, spiritually, personally, relationally, and professionally.

Over this past year, I have coped with loss in many different ways. I have been sad and depressed, so I got on depression medicine. I have prayed and prayed and prayed. I have praised God for this time, even though I don't understand everything that happened. I have talked with Shane, some friends, and many loved ones about my feelings. I have gone to counseling. I have also coped with my feelings through some negative behaviors--having a short fuse with Shane or my children; turning to food for comfort; avoiding people or conversations or conflict.

I am still working through all my feelings about that time in my life, and I will continue to look for the positive aspects of how God used me--used us--to advance his kingdom. I know that He did, and I'm confident that in spite of all that was lost, many things were gained, too.

So back to Job...Here was Job's response to all that he lost (vv. 20-22):

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:
       "Naked I came from my mother's womb,
       and naked I will depart.
       The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
       may the name of the LORD be praised."

In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing. 

Job worshiped the Lord. Job, in his wisdom, recognized that the Lord gave and the Lord took away, AND YET, the name of the Lord will still be praised. And perhaps even more impressive, even in his grief, Job did not sin. Even when he developed boils, he did not curse God or sin. But he did grieve. He felt his suffering, and he went through deep sorrow and pain.

Let the name of the Lord be praised.

For Such a Time as This

Day 93: Esther 5-10

The saga of the book of Esther continues as Haman decides to hang Mordecai out of his lack of submission to him. But he doesn't get to because King Xerxes decides to honor Mordecai for saving his life earlier. And what's ironic is that the same pole that Haman had constructed for Mordecai was actually used on Haman. Xerxes ordered him to death because of his plot against the Jews. In the end, King Xerxes issues decrees that the Jews are allowed to gather together and they could kill anyone who tried to attack them. Purim, the day when Jews got relief from their enemies, was also established. Mordecai became a great man and was known for taking care of his people. Esther and Mordecai were there at the right time and the right place to help take care of their people.

Nowhere in the book of Esther is the word God mentioned.

Reality TV? Nope, it's the Bible.

Day 92: Esther 1-4

Esther. The second book in the Bible named after a woman (the first was Ruth).

The Cast of Characters:
Queen Vashti. She was the wife of King Xerxes and in chapter 1, she is dethroned because she refuses to dance naked in front of the king, nobles, and other men for whom King Xerxes was throwing a party. How dare she! The king wanted to show of her beauty (um, objectify her) to his friends. I'm proud of Vashti for standing up to her misogynist husband whose request was oppressive and demeaning. She lived in a culture in which women had few rights, yet she chose to do the right thing and not objectify herself in this way--even when it cost her security, wealth, honor, and privilege. The men didn't want other women behaving like Queen Vashti, so the king ordered a law saying that men are the heads of household and women should do everything they say (Note that this is not God saying this.).

King Xerxes. He really comes across--at least to me in this day and age--as a misogynist pig. In a queen, he only looks for someone with beauty and he holds a competition for queen. This book reads like a reality show in some places, especially when Xerxes is involved and asks the women to promenade in front of him like a Miss America pageant.

Esther. A Jew. Mordecai's beautiful cousin who participated in the Miss American pageant, um, the competition to became the next queen. She completed 12 months of beauty treatments before appearing to the king. Xerxes becomes attracted to Esther more than any of the other women (why not, right?), so she becomes queen. Esther did not tell Xerxes she was a Jew. (You can hardly blame Esther for participating in this pageant--she lived in a culture where she had few rights, and with her belief in God, this would provide quite an opportunity for her).

Mordecai. A Jew who raised his cousin Hadassah (Esther) because she didn't have parents. When Esther becomes queen, he uncovers an assassination plot against King Xerxes and saves Xerxes' life. He does not bow down to Haman and, as a result, Haman orders the annihilation of all Jews.

Hanan. He was elevated to the highest position in King Xerxes' court and because Mordecai would not bow down to him and pay him honor, he plotted to kill the Jews. King Xerxes gave his approval to kill all the Jews, even women and children.

To be continued...

Prepare, Praise, and Promise: Lessons from the Israelites

Day 91: Nehemiah 9-13

The Israelites are slaves in Assyria, and they have gathered together. They are fasting and wearing sackloth. During this time, they read aloud from the Book of Law, confess their sins, and worship the Lord. They also thank and praise God for all that he has done for them and their ancestors. They praise God for keeping his promise. They tell him that they love him, and they tell him why: "But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love." They also tell him he is just and faithful, forgiving and merciful. They remind themselves of all that God has done for them, and they make promises to God. They tell him they will stay faithful, they will give him the best they have to offer. They "will not neglect the house of God."

The Israelites impress me, and I can learn a lot by the way they interact with God. Their whole approach to communicating with God (some of which I mentioned above) can teach me about how I, too, can approach and interact with God. I'm always looking for ways to talk to God and ways to be in relationship with God, and the reading from today gives me several ideas.

1. Prepare: The Israelites approach God with humility.
They wear sackcloth and ashes. They fast in preparation for meeting God and for communing with him. They prepare. They don't just show up and talk. They spend a lot of time readying for meeting God. They recognize that they are unholy and that God alone is holy, and their countenances and actions reflect this understanding. They are humble, and they don't take God for granted.

2. Praise God with specifics.
The Israelites, like us, praise God. However, I notice one key difference between how they praise God and how we (oftentimes, unfortunately) praise God: they use specifics. The Israelites don't just say, "We love you God," or "God, you are so good" (over and over and over again); rather, they tell God why they love him, and they tell him why He is so good.

Being specific has several benefits: 1) It allows them to process what God has done. They can remind themselves about why they love God and what God has done for them. They can remember specific instances in their lives when God has acted--when he has shown them grace, forgiveness, mercy, love, etc. Then, they can thank God for what he has done--all the while remembering for what they are thanking God. They are thinking in specifics rather than generalities. 2) Being specific encourages reflection. This one kind of goes with the previous one, but it's a little different in that reflection breeds remembrance and appreciation. Remembrance of the actual events and circumstances in your life in which God acted, and appreciation for him and who he is in these instances in your life. 3) Being specific in prayer and praise reminds them who God is--his characteristics and his nature. As the Israelites re-tell their story to God in prayer, they also interweave the characteristics of God during these times, which becomes a form of praise to God.

3. Promise: The Israelites tell God what they are going to do as a result.
The Israelites promise God that they, too, will act. They will love the Lord, be faithful to Him, and sacrifice offerings to Him. They have prepared, they have praised God for the specific things he has done for them, and now they make promises to God about what they will do, how they will act, live, and behave.

Next time you are in church and you sing a "praise" song, remember back to the Israelites and how they approach God: they prepare, they praise with specifics, and they promise. Maybe this can be a model for you as to how you can talk to God. I know it helps me concretize something that often seems so abstract.

Continuing On

Day 90: Nehemiah 5-8

Nehemiah continues building the temple...

Ezra appears more in this book than he did in the book named after him.

A Joke for Today

Day 89: Nehemiah 1-4

Here's a joke for you:
Who was the shortest person in the Bible?

Answer: Knee-High Mya

My high school Bible teacher Mr. Hahn used to tell that joke every year. He belly-laughedover that one each time he told it.

I don't remember anything about Nehemiah except for that joke, so I guess I better go read it.
---
Nehemiah was cupbearer to the king, King Artaxerxes, and he was distraught about Jerusalem being in ruins, so he asks the king to let him go rebuild it. The king grants his request, and Nehemiah oversees the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem.

What's your legacy?

Day 88: Ezra 5-10

Ezra. An entire book is named after him, and he doesn't even appear until chapter 7 in the book named after him. He only appears in four chapters total in the book of Ezra.

I didn't remember one thing about Ezra before reading the book today, but after reading what is written about him, I think he was a great man. He was a godly man who helped the Jews rebuild the temple in Jerusalem. One of the facts you might find interesting about Ezra (I did) is that he is a direct descendant of Aaron, Moses' brother. In fact, Aaron was the first priest (I think), and here you have Ezra who is another priest. He comes from a priestly heritage and is living his life in the same way as he grandparents did.

In thinking about Ezra and the long line of faithful people from which he comes, I'm struck by how his faith came from his family. So often we look for these fabulous conversion stories--like those that happen in the New Testament--but there is also something to be said about generations after generations of people following the Lord. Faith so often happens because of family relationships--whether you inherit a faith from your parents, grandparents, or siblings. While not everyone comes from a family that believes in the Lord or in Jesus, some of us, like me, do. I think it's important to be reminded that we have an even greater responsibility to pass along this faith with others--not just our children but our friends and neighbors, too.

I often wonder if my children are inheriting anything good from me. I have faults, and I think I'm a horrible parent on many days (I am!). I think it's important to ask myself, though, what kind of heritage am I leaving my children? Am I instilling in them a faith that will last up to 16 generations, like that of Aaron's to Ezra's? I really hope so.

A Temple Parallel

Day 87: Ezra 1-4

The Israelites are in captivity in Babylon, and the book of Ezra opens with the Babylonian King Cyrus making plans to build a temple in Jerusalem. We read at the end of 2 Chronicles that Jerusalem was destroyed and the temple, too, and my first thought is, "Why is this king going to rebuild the temple?" Does he worship God? And, yes, I soon find out that he worships God and he will allow the Israelites and all those who worship God to have a role in rebuilding the temple.

Listen to this passage about the reaction of the Israelites as they are rebuilding the temple:
"And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away" (vv. 11b-13).

Isn't the reaction of the older people interesting? That as they see the foundation of the new temple of God being laid, they weep. The second to last sentence suggests that they are weeping from sadness. Sadness over the former temple and its glory. Sadness over the time when they were free from exile and captivity. Sadness over the fact that this new temple will not be meticulously-made by Solomon like the other one. Sadness. Regret. Nostalgia.

Regardless, these elderly people are sad. Over my lifetime, I've attended church with many, many "old" people (notably, my definition of "old" has gotten older and older as I have gotten older and older!). But how often do we wonder what emotions they feel about church today? Things have got to be extremely different from when they were young--and when what they thought and what they believed and how they worshiped was a certain way. Even when they thought they were "right." Today, all this has changed has changed for them. They no longer look on these times as "the good old days." Those days have long past and some (if not most) of them tend to gripe and complain about the way things are. In many churches, the elderly are the most vocal because it seems that they have the most to lose with change. 

You've probably heard an elderly person talk about how too many churches are just about entertainment" or how "young people today are _______" (fill in the blank with a negative word), or how this world is going to hell in a handbasket. They view today's society as worse than when they were growing up (I admit this is a major stereotype), and they are resistant to these changes.

Whether they are right or wrong is not the point; rather, what I want to point out here is that they have emotions--real, true emotions--and they do not often get to express them. Either we don't listen to them--or we don't want to hear them--or we dismiss them as irrelevant to church business. This attitude of young people towards old people can, I imagine, be disheartening. Here you have people who have spent their lives giving to churches only to see the temple they helped build destroyed. And while young people are rejoicing that a new temple is being built, we must still remember to grieve with the elderly people who are sad about former times, times that appear lost to them--destroyed. Times when they were secure in their identity, in church, and in what they believed.

Exiled to Babylon

Day 86: 2 Chronicles 32-36

At the end of 2 Chronicles, God has finally had enough with the Israelites. They have disobeyed him over and over again; they have defiled him and worshiped idols; and they have not been faithful to the Lord. As a result, God sends them to Babylon into exile for 70 years. The Holy City of Jerusalem fell to the Babylonians, and the Israelites were now under Babylonian rule. This is an historic moment in the life of the Israelites. What will they do? How will they respond? I'm excited to find out.

Let God Out of the Box

Day 85: 2 Chronicles 27-31

I'm curious why most of the kings in the Old Testament who followed the Lord became powerful and successful. For example, King Jotham walked steadfastly with the Lord and he grew powerful. King Hezekiah restored the temple and God blessed him with financial wealth, glory, and honor. The Bible even says that since everything he undertook was for God, he prospered.

On the other hand, those kings who did not walk with the Lord and were unfaithful to him were punished. They were taken prisoner, like King Ahaz, were struck down with a disease, or were killed in war.

One generation was faithful and the next was not. This story is repeated over and over again. What we can learn is that even when one generation was unfaithful to the Lord, the Lord was still faithful to his people--even if he still disciplines and punishes the faithless.

Nevertheless, what I still perplexes me is the message that this pattern sends: if you are good, you will be blessed; if you are "bad" (or unfaithful), you will be punished. And these consequences aren't something that happen "when you get to heaven"; they happen here on earth (at least in the case of the textual examples). So, I don't understand it.

Did good things always happen to good people in the Old Testament? Or did bad things happen, too, but because the person was faithful to the Lord, the biographer/narrator of the books reflects back in a postive way (and likewise for the "bad" people)?

Or maybe the words "blessing" and "prospered" meant something different in OT times. They sure have various meanings today. I don't know. But I don't think we can equate doing good with blessing and doing bad with harm and pain. If we do so, we put God in a box and when trials comes, God cannot get out of that box because we won't let him.

Instead, I think we should try to live in the moment so that we feel what God intends for us to feel at any given time. Sometimes, we are supposed to cry. Other times we are supposed to rejoice and be glad. Still other times call for anger, frustration, and disappointment. God wants us to feel what we feel, but He also wants us to realize that He is working for the good for those who love him, even if "good" people have to go through pain and suffering. If we recognize this when we are not experiencing pain, then when we do experience it, God will not be in a box, and during the midst of our suffering, we will, Lord-willing, not lose our faith.