Dancing and Mourning

Day 176: Lamentations 4-5

Lamentations is a book for mourners. It is a book for people who have lost hope, who have experienced pain and loss, and who have become separated from God. Lamentations 5:15 says, "Joy is gone from our hearts; our dancing has turned to mourning." This book is about people who have lost hope and who are now crying out to God for help.

In recent years, much more than ever before, I have felt that much of the joy and hope I had as a young person has turned to mourning for one reason or another. It is no secret that I have been depressed over the last year of my life. I also suffered from postpartum depression after my son Peyton was born almost twenty years ago. Whereas I had experienced so much joy and happiness before, now I felt sad, lonely, and alone. I mourned. I felt the loss. I suffered. Lost hopes and dreams. Unnecessary conflict. Tired resignation. Worry. Anxiety. Sadness. Loneliness.

And although my dancing turned to mourning, God still came in. And he turned my mourning, my loneliness, my depression back into dancing, joy, happiness. God came in, and he restored my hope.

I am officially off depression medicine, and it feels good. I know, though, that dancing between mourning and joy is a part of life, but God is in control and he continues to rule my life.