Guilt in Giving

Day 32: Numbers 26 to 30

I'm feeling guilty.

Over and over again God instructs the Israelites to give him offerings. These offerings range from burnt offerings and sin offerings to daily offerings, weekly sabbath offerings, and monthly offerings. God wants them to offer sacrifices to Him so that they can be pure and holy. Today, God also wants us to make offerings to him. He wants us to make financial offerings and more metaphoric offerings as well, or giving of ourselves to him (offering ourselves to Him).

I'm feeling guilty because of the financial aspect. As a family, we decided long ago that we would give ten percent of our gross income to God (primarily through the church). We have done this over the years, but sometimes when I write the check I think to myself, "At least we'll be getting some of this back with our taxes" or "At least we'll be able to write this off on our taxes." Isn't that awful?! I know. I shouldn't think be thinking that, but sometimes I do.

I know this is not the way God wants me to think about giving to him, about presenting offerings to Him. And I really don't know why I care. But what strikes me here is that I'm wondering if I do this in the more metaphoric use of the word offering. Do I view metaphoric offerings in the same sense that I view financial offerings? Do I say, "Yes, Lord, you can have this part of me--even all of me--but I only offer myself to you because I know that I'm going to benefit from it as well. This way, I don't have too sacrifice too much."

Yikes! God doesn't just want me to do the deed; he wants me to have the right attitude about it as well. He wants to rid me of the pride I feel for giving offerings to him and instead fill me with an understanding that God is holy and deserving of my sacrifices. I shouldn't look at it like what's in it for me; instead, I should love God for His own sake. For who He is. For what He's done.