Confessions of a Distant Descendant

Day 44: Joshua 22-24

I have to confess something. I have been reading the Bible for several weeks now and although I have learned a lot about God--his nature and character--I don't feel that I have grown closer to Him. I don't quite understand why not because of how much I have learned about this, and I find this rather frustrating.

My reading so far has taught me a lot about several things: the church, values of God, God's commands and His will, the stories of God's people, sin, obedience, and discipline. However, I'm struck by how our modern notion of "a personal relationship with God" was not evident--or realized--with the vast majority of Israelites. Moses and Aaron had a relationship with God. Joshua and Caleb did, too. Adam and Eve. Cain. Jacob. Joseph. And a few others here and there.

In spite of these few mentioned "personal" relationships with God, the majority of Israelites are not reported to know God in this same way--personally. Rather, they knew him as a group. Israel was God's people. God knew Israel, and "Israel"--not individuals--knew God.

This concept is extremely different from today's widespread views that Christians can and should have a personal relationship with God and that Christians are saved individually through salvation and not as a whole. While I have some thoughts on both of those topics (which I'll save for later when we get to the NT), I mostly want to point out this difference.

I'm not sure from where the contrast originates, but I have a few ideas. It could be a difference between the old law and the new law--the old law that Moses handed to the Israelites and the new law that Jesus instigated. Or it could be a difference between cultures--the Israelite culture and an American culture that emphasizes the individual.

Regardless, the fact that I do not feel I have grown in "my personal relationship with God"--despite reading scripture every day and learning a lot about God in general--troubles me. I'm not sure where the answer lies or when in the Bible this concept of individual/personal relationship with God originates (or if it's in there at all or more the result of church tradition). But I am going to be watching out for it as I continue to read. I'm going to pay special attention to the contact that humans do have with God--in the OT and the NT--so that I can learn more about what this means and grow deeper in my relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

Growing closer to God is one of the reasons I'm doing this. I don't just want to know about God; I want to know Him, and I want Him to know me. I pray that God will continue to show me how to use my imagination to envision a different relationship with God than I have now and to see the possibilities that exist when what now seems distant comes nearer.